Researchers spend time and money year after year finding and ranking the reasons why people get divorced. You may have done something similar, spending hours trying to figure out what went wrong in your marriage. In many cases, it’s probably not one specific thing, but a combination of actions and reactions that cause a relationship to sour and a partnership to splinter.
However, it is interesting to see how many people enter into second and third marriages knowing the odds are against them. Statistics have consistently shown that subsequent marriages fare even worse than first marriages.
When the perfect one is a perfect disaster
Every marriage is unique because every person is unique. Nevertheless, some marriage counselors believe a number of common factors contribute to why people get divorced, and you may find one or more of those factors were present in your own relationship.
For example, you may have remarried before you really took the time to figure out what went wrong in your first marriage. Some divorced people believe they can have a perfect second marriage if they find the perfect person, and they marry based on feelings. If this sounds like you, you probably remember the disappointment when those first feelings began to fade.
Something old, something new
First marriages can also complicate second marriages. If there are children, stepchildren, new spouses or ex-spouses on either side, your marriage may be very crowded. You may also feel that these people with their unique claims on you or your new spouse may be pulling you in many different directions. Such pressure certainly strains a new marriage.
Additionally, if you or your new spouse have issues that were not fully resolved through your previous divorces, those issues are likely to resurface during your second marriage. Money is typically the factor that creates tension with a new spouse, especially if your ex is trying to get more of your money.
When the knot comes undone
Because divorce may not be so scary the second time around, some marriage counselors feel that couples in their second or third marriages are not as afraid to use divorce as a solution to their problems. You may have seen this in yourself. Perhaps you were less willing to tolerate certain behaviors in your second spouse than you were in your first, or maybe your spouse is the one who showed less patience.
No matter the reasons, if your marriage is ending, you want to be certain your assets are safe and your divorce settlement is fair. Even though you have been through this before, leaving it all to the courts or rushing to get it over with may not be in your best interests. To protect your future, an attorney can offer advice and represent you in all aspects of your divorce.