Family Law Blog

How to Avoid Stressful Financial Issues in Your Marriage

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on February 24, 2012

There are a great number of potential causes of stress or tension in a marriage. One of the most common is financial infidelity. It is natural to feel betrayed when your spouse makes big purchases without telling you or even lies about their spending habits. Feeling like you cannot trust your spouse with money can lead to resentment and just overall unhappiness which, in turn, can lead to the end of your marriage. Avoiding the common financial mistakes that can lead to divorce can help you and your spouse not only stay together, but be happier. By following these simple rules, you can ensure that financial problems do not contribute to the demise of your marriage:

1. The first and most important rule, is Communicate. It is essential that you and your spouse talk about your financial styles. The saying “opposites attract” tends to apply to money-handling too. If one spouse is very thrifty and the other extravagant in their spending habits, there are naturally going to be issues. By discussing these issues, you can determine whether a compromise can be reached or whether it is necessary to create separate accounts.
2. Determine financial goals. What are your plans as a married couple? Do you want to buy a house? Do you want children? Do you want to take a vacation every year? These are among the many questions you and your spouse need to find the answers to. If you both agree on your goals and set a budget, you won’t have to sneak around financially.
3. Be rational. Do not run for divorce papers the first time your spouse cheats on you with retail merchandise or the like. If your spouse commits financial infidelity, talk to them about it. You will likely be able to work through it. If it is the second or subsequent time you have had to talk to your spouse about such actions, be honest and clear about how it makes you feel and what you want to happen in the future.

The relationship between spouses is very complex. In most cases, all it takes to keep the marriage strong is open communication, but this is easier said than done. If you have decided that divorce is the best option for your relationship, the dedicated divorce attorneys in Colorado at Kaplan Law, LLC can help you understand each step of the divorce process and support you through such a difficult time. To learn more about your legal rights and options, contact us at (303) 458-5500 for a consultation.

Understanding Division of Property in Colorado Divorce

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on February 21, 2012

Making the decision to divorce is the easy part compared to all the factors that contribute to finalizing and settling the divorce. The divorce process is not simple or easy, unless of course you and your spouse can agree on the exact terms of the divorce on your own. Unfortunately, this does not happen very often, though it is ideal. There are many pieces to a divorce settlement, one of which is the division, or, as it is termed under Colorado law, disposition of property.

Colorado is a “no-fault” divorce state, which means that, under normal circumstances, wrongdoing on the part of one spouse or another has no bearing on court decisions. Such is the arrangement with property division. According to Colorado Revised Statute (CRS) 14-10-113, “… the court…shall set apart to each spouse his or her property and shall divide the marital property, without regard to marital misconduct, in such proportions as the court deems just…” In order to determine what is “just,” the court considers several factors, including the following:

• The value of each spouse’s separate property;
• Each spouse’s contribution to the acquisition of the marital property, including the contribution as homemaker;
• Any decreases or increases in separate property values during the marriage, or depletion of any separate property for marital reasons; and
• The economic situation of each spouse at the time the property division is to be in effect, including the benefits of awarding the family home or the right to live in the family home for reasonable periods of time, to the spouse with whom any children live with most of the time.

At Kaplan Law, LLC, our property division attorneys in Denver have a thorough understanding of Colorado divorce law and procedure and can help you obtain the best possible outcome for you and your family. To learn more, call us today for a consultation at (303) 458-5500.

Unexpected Negative Behaviors that Can End a Marriage

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on February 13, 2012

There are many reasons why a married couple decides to divorce. Two of the most common of these reasons are infidelity and financial problems. But both of these are fairly obvious. Lying, cheating, and financial insecurity are major issues within a relationship, but major issues are not the only ones that can lead to divorce.

There is no definitive number of reasons why a couple decides to end their relationship. In reality, there may be hundreds of reasons; however, according to The Huffington Post, researchers have pinpointed five behaviors that, if consistent, have the ability to end a marriage:

• Nagging - Repeatedly asking your spouse to do something, which they ignore, can cause frustration, annoyance, and resentment.
• Criticism - Repeatedly attacking your spouse’s personality or character instead of discussing the actual problem in a mature way.
• Stonewalling – Withdrawing from or avoiding conversation, or even the whole relationship, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, can lead to ongoing resentment.
• Contempt – Disrespecting your spouse openly and/or committing other hurtful actions, such as putting them down and name calling.
• Defensiveness – Repeatedly defending yourself when your spouse makes criticisms or comments about you, instead of having an open discussion. Consistently disagreeing with your spouse and/or rebutting with your own complaints are also defensive behavior.

Regardless of what researchers have and may discover, no one can predict what leads to every divorce. Each relationship is different and the reasons for ending that relationship are equally unique. Divorce is not an easy decision, but can often be a necessary one.

If you believe divorce is the best option for your relationship, the experienced Colorado divorce lawyers at Kaplan Law, LLC, can help you take the necessary steps towards that goal. Call us today to learn more about your legal rights and options at (303) 458-5500.

Moving On after Divorce May Be as Easy as The Vendetta Technique

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on February 9, 2012

When a married couple is unhappy with themselves and their relationship, divorce is oftentimes the only option. However, getting a divorce does not necessarily fix everything. Many divorced people find it difficult to cope after a divorce, however necessary it may have been. There are many ways a recently divorced person may move on with their life, and no one way is the right way for each person. One such method, simply put, is revenge.

This revenge does not involve hurting the other person, however; it involves making changes that help you feel confident, healthy, and good about yourself to the point where you realize that you are a better person without your ex-husband or ex-wife. This method, called The Vendetta, was developed by celebrity weight-loss coach Valerie Orsoni, and includes seven essential steps:

1. Choose Your Enemy – Even if you do not consider your ex an “enemy,” this is an essential component to the Vendetta and can help.
2. Choose Your Vendetta – Write down your goals, whether it is to be healthier, look better, and/or have more fun.
3. Purge – Remove your ex and their friends (if necessary) from your life. Remove pictures, erase them from your phone, Facebook, etc.
4. Create Your Fanbase – A support team is important. Tell only close friends and/or family about your Vendetta and spend fun, quality time with them.
5. The Vendetta Diet – Nix the junk food, fill your fridge with fresh veggies and other natural foods, and set up a new exercise routine.
6. Rewards for Goals – Set small goals and create a Vendetta Treasure Chest where you keep reward notes like “Buy a new outfit” or “Go to a football game” for achieving those goals.
7. Party-time! – Once your Treasure Chest is empty, you have achieved all your goals and it’s time to celebrate! Throw yourself a party, take a trip, or anything else that will recognize this point in your life.

Recovery after divorce may seem like an impossible task, but with the right support and the right coping method, you will be able to move on with your life. If you are contemplating divorce in Colorado, the experienced Denver divorce lawyers at Kaplan Law, LLC, can help. Call us today at (303) 458-5500 for a consultation.

UA Study Reveals Higher Likelihood of Early Death for Divorced Adults

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on January 19, 2012

Divorce can have a wide range of effects on an individual. Most effects, such as general depression, loneliness, frustration, financial instability, and even relief, are common. But, according to USA Today, divorce can do much more than just make a person feel depressed; it may lead to an early death.

A recent review of over 30 published studies by the University of Arizona (UA) found that divorced adults experience a higher risk of early death than married adults. In fact, divorced adults are 23 percent more likely to die early, according to data collected by researchers while tracking certain couples for 11 years.

The health risks of divorce were found to be similar to the health risks of other established health issues, such as smoking, alcoholism and being overweight. Divorced men were found to be at a higher risk of early death than divorced women. The study does not conclude that divorce 100 percent leads to early death, just that it is a risk factor that may increase the chances of early death. Most divorced adults actually move on to higher levels of satisfaction and even remarry.

The UA study was published in Perspectives on Psychological Science and analyzed 32 studies which involved 11 countries and 6.5 million adults over the course of 27 years. It does present an important “chicken or the egg” question, however: Does divorce lead to poor health, or does poor health lead to divorce?

The relationship between a husband and wife can be very complicated, and though studies can reveal certain trends, they by no means predict what will happen to every couple. Divorce is often the most important step to finding happiness. At Kaplan Law, LLC, our experienced divorce lawyers in Colorado understand that divorce, though a difficult decision to make, may be necessary for the health and well-being of a couple. If you are considering a divorce in Colorado, contact us today for a consultation of your legal rights and options at (303) 458-5500.

Colorado Senator Pulls Proposed Divorce Bill after Fervent Feedback

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on January 16, 2012

A Republican senator removed his proposed divorce bill, which would have required divorcing parents to attend counseling before going through with the divorce, from the Colorado legislature after receiving extensive and “extraordinary” feedback, according to the Denver Post. The criticism he received made him realize that this is a much bigger issue than he anticipated and it requires much more time and deliberation.

The divorce “cooling-off” bill would have required a divorcing couple with underage children to attend six hours of instruction on the affects of divorce on children, as well as to wait approximately eight months before they could actually proceed with the divorce process. Extenuating circumstances, such as sexual abuse, domestic violence, and other factors would have been exceptions to the proposed rule.

The senator sponsoring the bill is still committed to finding ways to address the problems associated with divorce, but sees now that the proposed bill may not be the way to go. It garnered national attention from counselors, attorneys, and others, who questioned whether government and/or bureaucracy should be involved in a couple’s decision to divorce. Another bill concerning the problems associated with divorce may find its way back into the legislature in future sessions.

Divorce is not an easy decision, especially for a couple with children, but it is sometimes necessary. If you are considering a divorce in Colorado, the experienced divorce lawyers in Denver at Kaplan Law, LLC can help. Call us today for a consultation at (303) 458-5500.

First Divorce Recorded in America Shares Similarities with Modern Day

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on January 9, 2012

The first recorded divorce in American history was on January 5, 1643 and was granted by the Puritan court to Anne Clarke of the Massachusetts Bay Colony on the grounds that her husband, Denis Clarke, abandoned her and their two children to be with another woman, with whom he also had two children. In a signed affidavit, Denis Clark admitted to these allegations, as well as stated his refusal to return to his original wife. The court had no choice but to punish the absent and adulterous Denis Clarke and grant a divorce to Anne Clarke.

The Puritan courts were not known for looking kindly on divorce, but although the system may have been more severe then, this first recorded divorce was not unlike divorces today in terms of why it was granted, or in modern cases, filed. Infidelity and abandonment are not uncommon reasons for divorce today. Other common reasons for filing divorce in modern times include:

• Financial Issues;
• Physical, Psychological, or Emotional Abuse;
• Poor Communication;
• Child Rearing Disputes;
• Conflict Resolution Issues;
• Cultural or Religious Tension;
• Addiction;
• Personality Clashes; or
• Differences in Expectations and Goals.

The reasons why a married couple files for divorce varies; what works or doesn’t work is unique to each marriage. Unfortunately, what doesn’t work often creates irresolvable problems for which divorce is the only answer. If you are considering filing for divorce in Colorado, the experienced divorce attorneys in Denver at Kaplan Law, LLC, can help you understand your legal rights and options so that you may make an informed decision. Contact us today for a consultation at (303) 458-5500.

Common Financial Mistakes That Can Lead to Divorce

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on December 29, 2011

According to Money Talks News, a recent study affirms that almost 25 percent of all married couples hide financial affairs from their spouse in the U.S. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) points out that financial stress is a common reason for divorce, as demonstrated by court records. A study from 2009 also supports this claim, stating that money problems are one of the leading predicators of divorce, preceded only by drug abuse and infidelity. In order to avoid a financial situation that could lead to divorce, it is important to be aware of the six common money mistakes couples make:

1. Lack of or Poor Communication

   Money is often treated as the elephant in the room by married couples when it is, in fact, one of the most important topics needing discussion. Talk to your significant other about finances early on in the relationship so that there are no surprises later on.

2. Secrets

   Many married couples hide spending from the other, be it a small or big purchase. For some, it has to do with not feeling like a child who must ask for permission. This can end up creating more problems in the long run. Secrets are secrets, regardless of what is being hidden, and secrets take their toll on a marriage.

3. No Budget

   Keeping track of who spends what can be very difficult without a budget. Making sure both spouses are responsible for adhering to a set budget can ensure that there is always enough money for fixed monthly expenses and that neither spouse overspends.

4. No Will

   Married couples need to be financially prepared for the inevitable. Hashing out the financial details of a will can ensure that both spouses are prepared.

5. Ignoring Differences in Spending Habits

   Just because one spouse likes to shop and the other likes to save does not mean they should not try to find a common middle ground. Leaving each to their own will only exacerbate financial problems in the future.

6. Sharing is not Always Caring

   It may not be practical to share everything, especially early on in a relationship. You may find yourself in a situation that leaves you financially indebted or insecure.

There are various reasons why a couple may decide to divorce; some are preventable, but oftentimes, marital troubles cannot be worked out. If you are considering divorce in Colorado, the dedicated Denver divorce lawyers at Kaplan Law, LLC, can help you understand your legal rights and options so that you can make an informed decision. Contact us today at (303) 458-5500 for a consultation.

Colorado Supreme Court Amends CFI Guidelines, Again

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on December 27, 2011

Child custody disputes are highly common in divorce proceedings. Upon the motion of either party, the court may appoint a Child and Family Investigator (CFI) to determine what arrangement of parental time and decision making is in the best interest of the child.

A CFI is a licensed attorney, psychologist, or other mental health professional who is knowledgeable in the area of child development. His or her job is to conduct an investigation and then report his or her recommendations to the court concerning what parenting time and/or parental decision making arrangement he or she believes is in the child’s best interest. According to Colorado Revised Statute 14-10-116.5, the CFI may not also serve as legal representation of the child in such cases where one is appointed.

Because of a CFI’s role in family court, it is important that there are clear rules establishing how they are appointed and what their scope of authority is. In April 2011, the Colorado Supreme Court amended the Colorado CFI Guidelines to reflect the following changes:

• A cap of $2,000 was established for the investigation and report;
• Fees and/or costs that surpass the cap must be justified by additional order of the court and proof of extraordinary circumstances;
• Remove the CFI’s authority to conduct alcohol and drug evaluations or psychological testing;
• Remove “CFI quasi-judicial immunity” in the order of appointment; and
• Remove the CFI’s authority to facilitate a meeting between both parties/parents when a protective order prohibits such proximity/contact.

More recently, the Colorado Supreme Court made additional amendments to the CFI Guidelines, which took effect on November 30, 2011. Some of these recent changes include: establishing fees for CFI testimony in conjunction with the cap; establishing CFI appointment guidelines; clarifying complaint procedures; eliminating CFI referrals for specific professionals when neither the court nor the parties made such a request themselves; and modifying language regarding the CFI’s authority to perform certain types of tests or evaluations.

Determining the allocation of parental responsibilities to suit the best interests of the child is one of the most important duties of family court. If you are concerned about child custody issues in your Colorado divorce, the experienced child custody attorneys in Denver can provide you with the information and support you need to make an informed decision about your future. Contact us today at (303) 458-5500 to learn more about your legal options.

How to Get Through the Holiday Season after Divorce

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on December 20, 2011

The fall and winter holidays are a time for festive family celebrations with the ones you love; however, for a recently divorced couple, the holidays arrive not in an atmosphere of anticipation, but one of dread. For many divorcees, the holidays are a reminder that they won’t be celebrating with their spouse and/or children, but this does not mean that they must spend the holidays depressed and lonely. There are many different ways a person who is divorced can remain positive and hopeful and still enjoy the holidays.

Make plans. Don’t leave the holidays up to chance. Connect with family and friends and make plans to join them for some part of their holiday celebration, whether it is an intimate Christmas day brunch or a big New Year’s Eve party. They care about you and will be happy to have you. If you will be alone for the holidays, that’s okay. Make plans for yourself. See a movie, cook yourself a special dinner, go out to see Christmas lights, or whatever else you feel like doing.

Create new traditions. Trying to keep your former holiday traditions is a surefire way of making sure you will be disappointed, if not depressed, during the holidays. Designate your own special day to celebrate the holidays with your children; get together with friends on holidays where you would be alone; or create any other new tradition.

Be flexible. This is a close relation to “create new traditions.” Be open to celebrating the holidays in different ways and with different people. Also, don’t focus so much on the day itself when it comes to spending the holidays with your children. It’s the celebration they remember, not necessarily the actual day.

Ask for support from friends and family. Having a support system is very important after a divorce. Having family and friends that care about you is a valuable resource for you while you cope, but they need to know you want help.

There are difficult times ahead after a divorce, but it is sometimes necessary. If you are considering divorce in Colorado, or have questions about any other family law matters, the experienced family law lawyers in Denver at Kaplan Law, LLC, can help. Call us today for a consultation at (303) 458-5500.