Family Law Blog

When Divorce Gets Out of Control

By Denver Divorce Lawyer on March 4, 2009

A divorce is a stressful time for everyone involved. In an ABC news report, psychologists and divorce attorneys discuss how that stress can easily spiral out of control. The report begins with coverage of the protracted and bitter divorce proceedings of Nicholas Bartha and wife Cordula.

After filing for divorce in 2001, the couple wrangled with each other over control of assets, including a four-story New York townhouse. Four years into the proceedings, the Appellate Division of the New York State Supreme Court ruled that the home was indeed marital property. Nicholas refused to leave the premises, allegedly sending an e-mail to his estranged wife saying that he would leave the house only upon his death. In July 2006, the couple’s Manhattan townhouse was destroyed in a gas explosion a mere three days after Nicholas had been served eviction papers. Nicholas Bartha died July 17, 2006, and a little over a year later, his death was ruled a suicide in a report.

Although the Bartha case is admittedly one of the grimmest examples of a divorce gone terribly wrong, the potential for disaster is very real. Attempted suicide, harassment, stalking, destruction of property and other unreasonable acts are sometimes associated with divorce cases. One reason for the destructive and cruel acts that may happen in a contentious divorce—the elevated level of emotional investment associated with divorce proceedings.

Attorney Raoul Felder, a practicing divorce lawyer, is quoted in the ABC story saying “In all other litigation, stuff is replaceable, but dignity and validation are not replaceable [in a divorce case].” With dignity on the line, divorce proceedings can drag on and on, preventing the couple from going their separate ways and drastically increasing the costs to both parties.

How can you prevent situations like the Bartha divorce?

A divorce is painful enough without spiteful and cruel acts from one or both parties clouding the issues. If possible, work closely with your spouse to settle the financial issues outside of court. Should this not be feasible, work closely with a skilled Colorado divorce attorney. If you feel that the emotional impact of a divorce makes it impossible for you to meet with an ex-spouse, develop strategies with your lawyer and avoid situations like the Bartha divorce.